Tuesday, 15 October 2013

The Adventures of Geek Dad: The Realisation of a Modern Father

Good Tuesday everyone!

Today I join you with something that I do not do very often...

I have something to admit, and do so troubles me to my very core.

I was wrong!


For roughly 18/19 months now I've been keeping this blog, dipping in and out of my Geek Dad adventures, and until now I was certain that I was not an anomaly, that my attitude to both fatherhood and marriage was the norm and that those who had major differences were the exception.

Today I came to the cruel realisation that such a thing is far from true.


Allow me to talk you through my attitude towards parenthood and by proxy marriage.

You see, from day one I have done everything in my power to raise my daughter 50/50. Where possible we split the night feeds each alternating who did them, and if one of us desperately needed more sleep then the other took the slack knowing that if the worst came to it, the other would do the same in a heart beat.

When the Moo got older and she stopped needing night feeds, we continued to alternate, I would have Saturday as a lie in while my wife would get up to look after the Moo, and I would do the same on Sunday. On occasion when my wife has been super tired or unwell I have done both mornings, and likewise she has done the same for me.

This routine is still in place, and I think that we share pretty much everything like this.

And I can honestly say that as long as one is aware of what upsets the other and vice verse, then we are happy, we don't argue and we have a magical, happy and playful daughter to show for it.

You see, even when I had come home from a long day in the office you wouldn't find me shying away from spending time with my daughter and the ups and downs that goes with that, the same applied from the first week to now, night feeds, bath time, meals, I do my best to be there whenever possible.

But why? Because I love spending time with my daughter and wife, and I want them to both be happy.

Yes it hasn't always been great and there have been times when I'd love to have been somewhere else, but my love for my wife has meant that I didn't want her going through those hard times alone.


So now dear readers, ask yourself, are you the same? Do you or your partner put themselves before their child or other half? If the answer is no, then you are like me, and let me tell you, we are in the minority.


Just this morning, I found a message from my wife, she had been standing in a queue to get her morning coffee when these two "business jerks" started talking really loudly about their children.

One of these BJs was saying that he has been 'forced' to work longer hours so that when he gets home his personal time isn't 'distracted' by 'baby stuff'.

The other BJ was saying how he is making arrangements to stay in a hotel 3 nights a week purely so that he can get away from his kid who is having trouble sleeping.

Reading this sickened me, and I had to mention it to people at work, and the reactions were incredible. Many men who were near we're agreeing with these BJs, while most of the women were not surprised, saying that their own husbands or friends were exactly the same.

In short, this sort of behaviour is not only present, but it is accepted as normal behaviour!



Why is this the case? How can this be the case?

Until today I honestly thought that most men were like me, and those who said "I'm not doing a night feed because I've got to be up for work in the morning" were the exception.


I know that this is not my usual type if Geek Dad post, but I just had to make this, I just needed to send my disgust for these selfish and horrid creatures into the world.

If anyone reads this who falls under the before mentioned criteria then know this: you are not a father. You are a rancid example of a man who does not deserve the title that others like me and the few like me wear with pride every single day.

A partnership is supposed to be 50/50, and that's for everything including childcare.

But you know what the worst of this is? (Or perhaps the best) these sorry excuses for men? They are the ones missing out by choosing to pass on time with their kid, all of those magical moments passing them by, you can't ever get those back, and when your kid grows up they will remember you as the self centre red egotistical BJ that you are.

To those who do make the effort, good on you! I realise now how few and far between we are, and the world is a brighter place because we exist!

On that note, good night, stay safe and I'll see you Cryptside!

- Your friendly neighbourhood Doctor Loxley

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