Monday, 4 February 2013


Good Monday everyone!

Last night I slept from 10.30 until 07.00, which I think was the earliest I've been to bed in a long while. Still bloody tired though!

But anyway, on my way in today I was having a reminisce, remembering a few things from days gone by, and of course one of those things was who I was.

You see, as a WoW player, I make sure to keep up to date with and at least once a week you'll see some awkward geek who's asking for advice on talking to girls.

Essentially we're talking about geeks who lack confidence, asking other geeks how to deal with that.

Now I can't speak for others, only myself but I find this an interesting concept. I'm guessing that I'm not alone in how my childhood played out:

I was never a confident child, I never really had many friends. I was one of those people who'd cling to one person and that was it.

A large part of that was down to my inability to understand people. Putting myself in their shoes and thinking about what they may think/say of what I was about to say/do never even entered my head.

It's silly really, in today's modern world I'd probably have been diagnosed with Ausberger's.

But eventually I learned that if you pretend to be confident, that if you act a role, one that others find a pleasure to be around, then you're welcomed back. People don't see you as the "awkward geek" or the "strange quiet kid".

Then of course you reach a certain age, start working out who you are, developing the real skills you need to get on by, and before you know if the quiet uncomfortable child you were is long gone and replaced with the adult who has friends who spend time with you by choice, rather than necessity.

But is this the advice that should be given to other awkward geeks trying to talk to girls or make friends?
- Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't started to pretend to be something I wasn't.

What I do know is that I have a wife and daughter who love me, and I can be myself around them, so by proxy I must be a nice person who's a good (or at least part decent) husband and father.

So this makes me wonder, if my own daughter was going to come to me and ask how to get people to like you, what would I say?

Would I advise staying true to yourself even though most people wouldn't like you until adulthood? Would I advise selling out on who you are to the extent that sometimes you forget who's the real you?

Honestly, I don't know, and that scares me more than anything.

I guess there's only one thing you can do. You can show that you love them, and do your best to be a good parent, make sure they understand that no matter what choices they pick in life, you'll always love them, and just hope for the best.

And let me tell you something, that scares me more than anything else.

Stay safe friends, and I'll see you breachside.

- Your friendly neighbourhood Doctor Loxley


  1. If you had aspergers then I don't think you'd be able to just pretend to be confident and have it go away, had experience of a couple of people with it (mates brother and distant family member) they always still come across as 'a bit odd'.

    I wasn't a confident child but I grew into it with age, I'd now say I'm a very confident person most of the time. Particularly when in my comfort zone. Basically I reckon it doesn't matter, as long as you make a few friends, everything will be fine in the long run.

  2. Thanks for the reply. I'm not saying that I think I had ausberger's, but that in today's over-eager to diagnose world I'd probably have been incorrectly diagnosed