Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The Adventures of Geek Dad: Super Dad? I prefer 'just' Dad

Good Wednesday everyone!

A bit of a strange one today, it's something that quite a few people have commented on to me, including many at work, friends and even at nursery.

It's the concept of "Super Dad". The father who changes nappies, plays with his kid, feeds bottles, gets up in the middle of the night when there's tears and commutes to work during the day.

He's the Dad who can do everything, he's so awesome that he's seen as either an equal or a threat by Mums.

Can I just stick a pin in that ego balloon for a second?

That's not being a "Super Dad", that's just being a "Dad".

Yes most nights when there requires a night cuddle/change/feed I get up and let my wife sleep. But why wouldn't I? My wife needs her sleep! I won't go into why, but bad-medical things happen when she doesn't get enough sleep.

Yes every night when I get home after work, before I get a chance to relax I play with, bath, feed and put my little moo to bed. But why wouldn't I? She's my daughter and I love spending time with her! So her mum gets to do the morning stuff with her, and I do the evening. We're sharing the work load and fun time together.

Yes on occasions like today I do the morning shift, and will also play and bathe her tonight, but again why wouldn't I? You see unfortunately my wife is a bit unwell tonight, so rather than have her climb out in the snow, risk herself and the Moo, I told her to go back to bed and get more sleep, while I dealt with the Moo.


You see this is why I hate the term Super Dad. I know that there are fathers (and to a lesser extent mothers) who take any opportunity to spend as little time with their kid(s) as possible, but that doesn't even enter my head. And I know that compared to these parents I do a hell of a lot of work (on top of working 9-5, studying for my Accountancy course, and the random bit of hobby time here and there) but does that make me a "Super" Dad? He'll no! It makes those arseholes "Shit" Dads.

This is what I mean, perhaps I'm living in a fantasy world, but to me being a parent is about sharing the fun and the hard work, doing as close to 50% of the early mornings, as close to 50% of the bad nappies etc, sure it won't always work out that way, and there will be days that I do all the nappy changes, all the feeds and get no time to myself because the Moo is demanding all my time...

But what the hell do you think my wife does when I'm off once a month doing my demo days in London? She's doing all the nappies, all the feeds and all the play time.


So please, enough with the praise and complements, we shouldn't be idolising those of us who pull our weight, we should be demonising those who don't.

I mean seriously, has it really got so bad that a father who doesn't pull his own weight is treated as the regular dad? I hope not.

Anyway, stay safe, and please, no super - just Dad.

- Your friendly neighbourhood Doctor Loxley


  1. Only thing off that list I'm not ticking off is the night feeds at the moment. We agreed as long as I'm working and she's on maternity leave she'd do the night stuff and I was to sleep and try not to get fired!

    It's actually killing me at the moment that Ruari won't take a bottle as it means Ciara has had to cancel a load of nights out. So I now feel really guilty if I go out and she's stuck home as I can't return that favour.

    1. See I like reading that, it shows that you respect your partner and try to share the responsibility.

      Do I think that makes you super? Honestly no, I think it makes you responsible and caring, the way us Dads should be.

      It's a shame however that so many think that because we work we have the right to demand that the woman does everything else all the time, and heaven forbid she wants to have some time for herself.